I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize