Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize