What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize