I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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