New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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