I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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