marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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