just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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