Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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