whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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