I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize