I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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