My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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