I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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