You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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