I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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