Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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