i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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