I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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