my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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