i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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