you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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