Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize