i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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