take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize