There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize