The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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