it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize