you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize