I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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