Whod you bang
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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