He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
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Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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