when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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