I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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