Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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