Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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