On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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