you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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