Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You don't make any sense
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