I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize