You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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