Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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