i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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