Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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