i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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