So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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