Plan B is the new Plan A
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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