i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize