We won't sleep together?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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