Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can you bring me the toilet please
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize